Blending in

I was lost for some time and found myself back. The best way of knowing what is wrong is just

try it. I now, more sure of where I belong. So, I am going to live my fantasy again, in my

words, in my world. Let that journey continue…..

How does it feel when you know where you belong? I certainly didn’t know that, but

I was starting to believe that I was one of them. After spending years in a room, talking to silence,

I was in a world that was unknown. A world where sun was nice, wind was fresh and sounds made me feel that I was not odd and ignored.

One day, I was roaming in street in Shahnu and Neel.

Shahnu asked me

--- So, how you doing here?

--- I feel good with you guys.

Neel just went ahead of us and turned to me. Then he put his elbow on my shoulder,

--- Buddy, I am not too wise. But I think something is cooking.

Shahnu exclaimed

--- Where, are we invited? What’s in menu?

Neel replied

--- When does a boy see a girl with sparkling eyes? Tina is cute. You are cute too, Naga.

I was kind of confused. But, suddenly Shahnu poked me,

--- Ya, she is cute.

I was feeling little uncomfortable.

Neel then went behind me and pushed me gently. He said to Shahnu

--- He is blushing. So, sweet. We have a couple in our nest.

Shahnu was about to join him but I played a trick and told Shahnu,

--- I am hungry. Can we go back now? And started to walk fast towards our nest.

Then I realized that I was alone. I stopped and turned back. Shahnu told me,

--- You go. I will be there soon.

Saying this he rushed to somewhere.

I asked Neel

--- Where is he going?

--- To arrange some food.

--- Shahnu always takes responsibilities.

---Well not always.

---Why do you say so?

Neel paused for a while a said,

--- You might have changed him. He was kind of selfish before. Now he always manages something for all and that something is always better what we might have done!

He then turned back to me and said,

--- I need a chat with him. You go ahead and I will join you guys soon. See you later.

Then he ran away.

*****************

It was raining that evening. We were little worried as Shahnu and Neel had not returned till then. But we were cracking jokes on each other, as usual. Suddenly, Jinu asked me,

--- Where is Neel? He was you and Shahnu. 

--- Stuck in rain I guess.

--- In rain! You don't know them. Anyway whats up?

--- Nothing just watching you guys.

As soon as I finished my words Shahnu showed up.

--- Hey, what's going on!

Jinu asked him,

--- Where is Neel buddy.

Shahnu replied,

--- How do I know? He was with Naga. 

At this I said ,

--- He went after you. 

--- Well, he wasn't with me. He can take care of own self. Believe me.

Suddenly Tina exclaimed,

--- You are too cold, Are you okay?

 
I turned to her and saw her hand on my shoulder, but I couldn't feel it. I was feeling cold, may be because of getting drenched in rain but I was fine. Shahnu smiled and asked ,

--- Are you fine , hmm ! Don't catch cold that's too bad.

I nodded and some words escaped my mouth

--- Guys, may be I need rest. 

As I was about to exit the room I cat jumped before me. Even today that thing reminds me of something.

to be continued...





 

I can still remember myself on that day in a old battered desolated house.But that desolated house was home of some poor boys like Shahnu.

Shahnu stop at the door and told me,
--- just quite !
He entered the room. Then it was pin drop silence for few moment. Then Shahnu
lifted his hand like a terrorist surrendering to army and cry out,
--- look who showed up guys !

Then few of them pounced on him.In a moment all was changed and it was like a scenario of returning of family member after long time.Hugging, jokes,laughter and out burst of energy of life. Shahnu then suddenly shouted,
---hey guy! we have a new member...meet Naga.
and pointed at me. I was just enjoying the scene. Suddenly a hand stretched out toward me ,
--- welcome buddy.
With little hesitation I introduced myself,
--- I am Naga.
Suddenly Shahnu put hand on my shoulder and addressed his pals,
--- I am home with a new friend and we are starving. Now didnot your mother taught you how to welcome guests !
One of them shouted ,
--- this is for only those who have mother!
then all broke laughter as if Shahnu cracked a joke !

In few seconds I realised that it was a joke. They were all orphans. That was why they were there. But I used to think "orphan" refers to some poor ,unfortunate people. But their smile have some other impression on me. I dont now know fake or real ,but they seemed happy, like a family.They were all acting like stupid.Stupidity expressing some heartiness....... overwhelming and spontaneous.

Vague Call

Shadow

Before a little play of war began within that small cell that bruised poor woman somehow managed to give a cruel laugh to drew attention but ended up gasping for air,

In a low voice with little tone of whimpering she uttered,

--- Nothing matters for princess, nothing for my dear. Soon they both will be beyond all this pain and worries.

Digvijay lowered his sword as he asked,

--- What you mean?

--- She has crossed the boundary of this kingdom. She will sacrifice herself for princess, for the life she dreamt of, and she will give it to her.

The torment captain shouted in rage,

--- Where is princess?

Digvijay swung furiously and kicked his jaw before he could make another move. Captain fell on ground and started groaning in pain .Digvijay rushed to her and grabbed her shoulder and asked again, but this time louder,

--- What you mean?

--- She will give her dream to princess. All her beautiful dreams and it will be her life. And her soul will make those dreams true for her. A beautiful life like dream.

---What rubbish!

--- She will sleep forever. A beauty sleep, Far away from all mortal sorrow.

--- Your queen has lost her mind!

Suddenly a sound drew his mind. He saw captain escaping. Digvijay roared,

--- Stop you rat!

He followed captain out of cell, picked a bow from a dead hand. As he launched the arrow the scenario faded into a mist .Sound of leaves and crow, and suddenly found myself middle of a jungle. Standing like petrified I noticed Shahnu in a distance walking though bushes . He turned and saw me standing still. He shouted at me,

--- We have to go miles Naga. Move on. Hurry up.

I started walking My eyes were full of questions. Shahnu stared at me for once and said,

--- Naga out with it. Is there something to say !

--- How we came here? I can’t remember.

He stopped and turned and looks at me with puzzled eyes.

--- How we came here ! you walked ,I walked ,on feet ,in full sense for more than 30 minutes and now in middle of jungle you are asking me this !

---But I don’t remember. We were in train.

---Previous night. Its morning .Sun shining in sky. Look up.Now if its joke, I advice do it after 40 minutes .I am hungry Naga.

He started walking again. I followed him with many questions playing in my mind.

Darkness

An iron door swung, as a troop marched in. It was a corridor of prison, shrill scream echoing in air. The person leading the troop entered into a cell. He looked down as his leg hit a something fallen on ground. It a body of a man, bruised by torture. Her back was bearing red deep wounds which were evident that he was lashed. He sat down on knees and grabbed his hair and said,

--- Well, well, it seems like the great, mighty Mihant finally come to dust.

Then he look forward .A woman was tied, with her hand stretched over head, spread, tied with chain. Her face was facing the stony wall. She was shivering in pain. A torment was whipping her bare back. With every hit she was screaming.

The person leading the troop rose and ordered,

--- Stop.

Swing of the whip stopped as the heavy manly voice filled the air.

He came near the woman, and grabbed her hair an then slapped on her face and shouted,

--- What did she said?

The man with whip kneeled as he answered politely,

--- My lord! Her tolerance is incredible. She is determined to be silent.

--- Too strong , Is that so ?

He turned and took few steps back. Suddenly he turned and kicked her belly with her boots. It make her gasp for air as lunged emptied .The he rushed outside shell and returned with a small dagger . He shoved the tips of dagger in her mouth making cuts on her lips ,then ordered,

--- Whip!

With every hit on her bruised back she trembled with pain. Her mouth has bleeding.

He took out the dagger and took the whip and mocked her,

--- So, you have incredible tolerance power. Lets test it.

Then suddenly he whipped her thighs. She moaned in pain. Blows continued .Her moans again turned into shrill cry of pain.

He roared,

--- Where is princess?  I will not kill you. I will make your life hell. Every moment you will ask for death, and death would not mercy on you neither I .

She was whimpering as blood was flowing freely from her wounds on thighs.

Suddenly, sound of iron drew their attention. He rushed back and found few men with Arabian sword fighting his men. Then an arrow passed kissing his hair. He jumped inside the cell to save his life. A man entered the cell for him. He picked the dagger, rose and shoved it into him and took his sword.

Another man entered the cell. His eye bulged as he saw the person, and with bitterness uttered,

---  Digvijay ! How it can be !

Digvaijay smiled at him and said,

--- I have an unfinished business . I have to free you from all worries. Look at you ! So many burdens. Don’t worry , I will pay for every meal you gave me by freeing you from this bondage, my friend!

Alone in new journey 

 

 Shahnu offered me to stay with him. I accepted that call of journey. I didnot have any reason to look behind the road I left. It was just a road , lie before me, sneaking out of the view, touching the contours of lands. He took me to a goods train. 


Like a drifting wood in mid sea, on mercy of waves , that would take him somewhere, I was helpless.  Darkness was brewing.In the light of moon nature was smiling. We were sitting in a wagon on bundles of rice stalk. We both were silent , lost inside ownself. Suddenly Shahnu broke the silence,
--- So, I am curious to know how you have been living ! I mean, you are orphan, none to take care. Then how you managed stuffs for your belly.
I reamined silence for few moments , then replied,
--- I used to live with a person. 
--- wait, then why are you here ! What happened ?
 I just close my eyes and sank my head between knees, and said,
--- he driven me away.
--- Oh ! don't worry friend.God pissed on us ,yet life have to go on.   I meet a monk who said,
"what gone history and tomorrow is mystery, today is for you and you have to live it,then your today little bright with some joy from inside ".
but he didn't told me how to find joy when you are hungry but I managed it anyway .
I lift my head and looked at Shahnu. I didn't know much of him But I guessed that he was like me yet he laugh back to mocks of fate.


The wheels started rolling . Slowly the metal figure begun to move. I looked out. Railway track, lied till horizon, Gradually train gained speed. I was enjoying the wind. But I was little afraid too. I never did a train journey before .Town, village,jungles passed by. I asked Shahnu,
--- Where are we going ?
---I thought u would not ask. Its Bankur, a small town where I spent many days. I have few friends there.
---Why dont u stay at one place ?
---Because I am bird, buddy. Nothing to hold me back. Like a fallen leave wind sweep me away somewhere else.
Then after a pause he said to me,
---Naga, have a nap. Its still few hour journey. We will be reaching Bankur by dawn.

Chapter II

new journey

In a mysterious mist a hand haunting for something to hold, then a body appeared, out of the smoke. Devastated, wet with blood. He fell down on ground. His clothes were ragged, full of mud and dirt; he was panting heavily. He stood again on his feet his all his effort. He started to run again like a man try to escape from his dark fate. then chaos killed the order in order in air. Sound of iron that filled the cave an rose to ceiling and echoing all over the cave. A shrilling cry followed by dazzling light. In a distance, a woman was on her knees. It was damp and cool. There was some water on floor, red with blood. Then gradually all faded out. In darkness, only sound of breath and weeping that gradually calmed down,

I woke up by a jerking. I found a boy examining me with curiosity.

--- are you okay ? Hello !

Somehow I managed to to sit.He was a boy around my age.Dark and slim,with curly black hair.But it was evident from his appearance that he needed some lesson on hygiene

very much.

He asked again,

---are you okay? Why are you lying beside road? You are looking sick. Can I help you?

I did not understand what kind of help he could provide, so I remained silent.

He said again,

--- Are you sick? You are not looking well!

Suddenly my yes caught bread in his hand. I was down with hunger. I could not keep my eyes off it.

He understood what I was following.

---hungry ! Got It !

He offered me a piece of it. After little hesitation I accepted it.

---Anyway, I am Shahnu

Thus he introduced himself with a weird smile revealed on his face from one end to another.

I replied in soft voice,

---Me, Naga.

---Naga, Never heard a name like that.

Then he examined me again and asked,

---Are you lost! Or you are a beggar or orphan !

That question came to me like a bolt from blue. I knew there was no bond with anyone anymore. I paused for a moment and accept my fate. I summoned new identity on me,

--- I am orphan.

That fleshly screen remained the same. But I knew all had changed. Just only a name remained that I would keep with me in my new journey, Naga.

a unlikely saga : No sign of pain,Naga chapter I , pg 5

We came home around evening. Sometimes later Shinu went out. Driven by a strange urge I went to his room.  I never saw my mother. I began to look for that picture to just have a glance. I never  have her touch on me, affectionate touch.  I was ransacking the room like a bull in china shop. Few minutes later I found it under bed. She was beautiful. Big eyes, sharp nose and a round face; she was smiling as if  she can see me, her son , part of her. Suddenly I felt something  in my chest. I put my hand there. A beat, my heart, I could feel it strongly, keen and palpitating. I had a thought of stealing it but  I didn't dare . I kept it where it was. Then walked out silently. Her face was in my eyes, and I close my eyes wishing to meet her for once ,in dream ; because I had heard that man see dreams about his wishes and desires. 

A little suffocating made me awake. My room was full of smoke. I ran to Shinu’s room..There was none. In panic I started calling him and run all around the house. Then I rushed to main door and found the demon, red flame keenly stretching its tongue to take over all. I ran to my room, it wasn’t caught by fir till then. Opened the window to call out for help. But I found villagers standing with burning torch and enjoying the scene. Even Shinu was among them. I cried out for help. None approached. Shinu lower his head and lost in crowd. I was petrified in shock, paused. Then I gather all my courage to save all that I had then, my mother. I ran to Shinu’s room but it was domain of fire giant then. Standing there for minutes I was trying to find a idea to make my way to mother’s picture, last thing I can claim as mine. But I was blank. I surrendered to my fate. Walked to my room silently and sat on knees. Flame was turning over everything, climbing the wall to stretching itself on ceiling .But I was still, calm. Betrayed by all I lost my love for this fleshly screen. But Fate has something else for me.